All’s quiet.

It was all quiet in the ED at 2am, literally. The normal noise and commotion, the beeps and dings, all seemed to have stopped for whatever reason. I was catching up on charts, when the sound of cascading water crept into my consciousness.  I looked up from my chart, and spoke the thought out loud “Why do I hear water dripping?” My attending’s head shot up from his own chart, eyes bolted open “Oh no!”  We both scrambled to the far side of the doctor’s area, only a few feet away, to find our worst fears confirmed. On the stretcher was one of our intoxicated patients, completely swaddled in blankets. Completely swaddled that is, except for his penis, which was poking out between the side rails of the gurney, with a steady stream of urine flowing forth. Awesome.